Aspergers With Autism Spectrum Disorder; Female Asperger’s Syndrome In Undiagnosed Women

Undiagnosed women, within a world of autism spectrum disorder, cause all sorts of lifetime difficulties. With a diagnosis, come coping mechanisms, understanding and support. However, more women and girls are being diagnosed but for a sub-culture of 40 plus women – they are lost. They are the undiagnosed Asperger’s syndrome women. They can’t make up for a lifetime. Here, in this article, you will find one of their accounts. This generation and the generations that preceeded them were the lost generation - the misunderstood.

-* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--*

My A-Store is cram-packed full of great specialist information and products especially picked and recommended by me to you!

Why not treat yourself to a better autistic understanding by clicking:

• World of Autism

-* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--* -*--*

I always said the party was in my head. There’s lots going on in there – you should join me. This is my magic box of tricks that I can open whenever I want to. Within my mind there is joy, sorrow, pain, love and anger. Many thoughts and many memories that can be revisited and viewed – yes I can relive them and feel the feelings just as if I go back in time. I can spend hours' just dreaming and allowing free thought. It is my safe haven but sometimes it is my nightmare. I can be kept awake thinking about my stupidity and what others might think of me. I guess I am a little paranoid and fearful.

I am compulsive, highly intelligent, depressive, incredibly immature and really quite weird in social situations. Didn’t Ruby Simone mention this in her book ‘Aspiegirls’? – Click on Autism Spectrum Disorder:: Asperger’s Syndrome:: Women and Girls for more.

Shopping today was a nightmare. Although the supermarket wasn’t crowded, I somehow, managed to find other shoppers. Or did they find me? Confused? You and me both! All supermarkets are evil anyway! Why? Click Here.

The fish counter advertised ‘Two offers per week – half price’. I couldn’t find the two offers or the words to express this. My semantics were awful – I was having one of those ‘hard work’ days – again! After jumbling my words, I noticed a massive sign with the special offers splashed on a 3-metered board – what a fool! I stumbled my words and embarrassingly apologised – it wasn’t the smoked salmon this week then! How incredibly stupid of me not to notice the obvious!

Both Rudy Simone and Dr Tony Attwood, say this is typical for a female with Asperger’s Syndrome. Just as they have both highlighted that many undiagnosed Aspie women are of my age group too. I am 42 years old but to meet me, you would think I was a lot younger. My attitude can be very child-like and immature. And yet I am very academic.

I obtained an Honours Degree in Psychology, a Diploma in Health and Social Welfare – both from the Open University (distance learning is great for social isolates and it is through this that I thrived!) - and a Certificate in Further Education. I found the class room environment quite hard – the social stuff made me quite, err… Aspie! What do I mean by this? Well, I get a fuzzy head, become clumsy and dominate the classroom with ‘know it all’ answers. These are nerves, you see. I am trying too hard to please. I am desperate to be liked, but you know, no one likes a ‘know all’, do they? However, I know this, but I just can’t stop myself!

What typically happens in these relationships, are that people latch onto me, initially but quickly drop me as they establish relationships with others. It is like I am a link until someone better comes along. Then I become the butt of ridicule.

It is funny how Dr Attwood – Autism Spectrum Disorder:: Asperger’s Syndrome:: Women, Girls & Dr Attwood

- suggests that many Asperger women become psychologists, teachers and social workers… I seem to fit in all these brackets 100%. It is also odd that both Ruby Simone – Autism Spectrum Disorder:: Asperger’s Syndrome:: Women and Girls - and the Doctor highlight a lack of self-esteem and being vulnerable to sexual predators when young. In both cases, I tick the boxes. Read my story ‘The Hunted Fox’ and ‘Child Molestation: Social Systems Abuse Victims’? Well, these aren’t about someone else – they are my stories (but don’t tell anyone, will you?).

My interest in psychology stems back from childhood. I was always in a perpetual dream state. As I wondered home, I can remember always asking myself why… why didn’t I have any friends and why didn’t anyone like me? So through psychology, I learned about human behaviour – an answer that I sought for ‘why’? I have worked with people with severe learning difficulties and challenging behaviour, nursing and presently volunteer to drive patients to their radiotherapy appointments for their cancer treatments. I, therefore, help people to live and support them through a difficult time. I am told that I should be a councillor – I use the ideas of client centred therapy, which I learned during my studies – if you want to know more click Psychology 101: Client Centered Therapy.

I couldn’t read and write until I was 10 years old and no one could teach me the time. I learned that by working it out myself from simple subtraction on a digital clock face. In fact, I failed my 11+ at 11 but by the time I was 12 passed with distinction! Work that one out, eh?! When I was being taught to read, for example, I was told that the ‘e’ at the end of the word made it longer. On observing, I could see that an additional ‘e’ would change a four-letter word into a 5-letter word, so yes, it did make it longer. If you want to learn more about I.Q., please click on Psychology 101: What Is Intelligence?

People with Asperger’s syndrome take things literally – I should know that, I have a son that was diagnosed in 2004 with Asperger’s – Click for more: The Story of Daniel - My Asperger's Autistic Son. Autism spectrum disorders was something that came up in my course work when I was reading psychology. I knew from that moment on what was wrong (or right?) with my son and I. However, it is too late for me, but not for Daniel.

Interestingly, my husband is an undiagnosed Asperger's syndrome nurse – through knowing about our son, he has identified his oddness too. My father is another and my husband’s father is one too (although, I would never tell him – he deals with things in his own way and I don’t think he would be accepting of it), so we are all rather odd! They say it can be genetic and my grandmother used to tell my mother how, as a child, she just used to stand in the playground and watch the children play – she never participated! Maybe she was one too? She certainly was an isolate.  It certainly is a family epidemic with us!

So, how do I manage to ‘fake’ social interaction, as Simone says? I learned to act from an early age. I pretended to be someone else and this helped me. However, you get found out in the end. It is impossible to act all of the time.

So I am a round block in a round hole in the realms of autism spectrum disorder. I think literally and have an amazing imagination – the party is in my head! I am truthful (which doesn’t always go down well in society), genuine and love the deepest love. I can lack empathy and come over as cold sometimes – but can play the part well enough to hide this coldness from others when needed. I am one of those undiagnosed women - one of the lost women that Rudy Simone and Dr Tony Attwood’s talks about. Simone says that diagnosis and support makes a difference between living a fuller life as opposed to one that is a struggle. Life has always been a struggle for me, so what use is an Asperger’s syndrome diagnosis? I can’t think of what support will help me further but only to substantiate what I already know to be true.

© This work is covered under Creative Commons License

Follow Me On Twitter, Myspace and Facebook!

Just Click Here and follow the links!

Disclaimer

Use this article at your own risk. This article does not give legal opinions or advice.  Any action or outcome that may result from this article is the sole responsibility of the reader.  This article is assumes no responsibility or legal claim against it.